But this post is about circles.  Things coming all the way around and finding completion in unexpected ways that bring peace.  I was fortunate enough to be able to travel to her town to be a part of their memorial service.  That weekend was profound and very, very healing.  The first circle I felt was the circle of the past ~ of all of those who have loved them for most of their lives came together to say goodbye.  Many I hadn’t seen or talked to in years.  As we saw each other again, bound by love and loss we connected again in a different and incredibly powerful way.  We closed the circle of my best friends support system around her.  Each of us, in our own unique way carries a part of who she was here in this place.  Together, we could draw the circle of her life and give support not only to her journey of transition but to each other.  New relationships were forged, ones that will live on forever in our common bond of loving her, and sharing the process of letting go of her together. ~ That circle would become a lifeline as the days of “doing” to say goodbye shift to “learning to live with” her goodbye.  In her passing, a new circle was born.

Then there was the circle of energy ~ the circle that surrounded me by all those who chose to lovingly hold my space as I faced one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do.  The morning of the memorial, I could literally feel waves of light and love surround me – by those that love and support me.  It was through the circle they created that I was able to stand strong and centered as the day moved on.  From this place of strength, I could be a light and source of strength to others – and could find that place deep inside my own knowing, just for myself.  It was the circle of connection, of the strength and power of coming together – even when it wasn’t physically.

During that weekend I found the circle of the future.  Making new life friends who would, and continue to play a significant role in how this continuing story unfolds.  It was the circle of trust.  Shortly after their passing I began the next book in my series, and while the name keeps changing, I think I’ve finally gotten it right, “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace.. The Butterfly Dance” – this week, I was writing a particularly detailed chapter about a period of time in our friendship where she was helping me to edit and bring the first book, “Journey to Heart Space” to life.  Out of no-where, I picked up the phone and dialed the number to the only person who really knew my best friend in her “normal” life.  When she answered the phone, she was standing in the middle of my best friends house, cleaning out all of her things ~ packing them away for family.  She said, “I’m here in the house, and I’m holding the copy of your manuscript in my hands, she has her notes written all over it, I’m sending it to you.”  In that moment, another circle happened.  The circle of Divine Timing of all things.  I was speechless.  I had forgotten all about the manuscript – and wouldn’t have thought to ask for it.  But, when I really needed it most, a new friend – in a new circle had it for me.  As our conversation unfolded there was one other thing that was very important to me to get back.  And it wasn’t even for me.  It was for a little girl, thousands of miles away, who had given a pure white horse to my best friend the day she was leaving for the airport.  I knew about the white horse because my best friend had called from the airport to say, “She just gave me Satori.. the white horse from your book.. the white horse of transformation”  It was a gift beyond measure, that a little girl had given for no apparent reason.

Although we know where the white horse is in my best friends home, for now, we don’t have access to get it back.  I trust that in divine timing it will make its way back to the little girl with the huge heart.  But the circles continue.  Heartbroken over not being able to get back the white horse, my new friend told her daughter – who is about the same age as the little girl so far away.  This new little girl ~ just as close to my best friend as the other little girl ~ went into her bedroom and found a new white horse.  And this white horse is now on its way back to the little girl who started the circle just a few short weeks ago.

These little girls are the same age.  My greatest hope is that they will become pen pals or who knows, lifeboat sisters.. and that a new circle, is born again.

Trusting the process.. and in the circles of life,

Julie Jacobs

Author, “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace.. The Journey to Heart Space” available now on Amazon.com

www.radicalfaith-effortlessgrace.com

Two weeks ago, answering my cell phone at 6:15am, everything changed.  The words on the other end of the phone took everything I thought I knew and up-ended it completely.  My best friend, and her son, my godson were murdered by her husband in an act of domestic violence that rocked a community, and everyone who ever knew and loved them.  And from there, I stopped.  Everything stopped.

I set intention back in January when I quit my full time job to pursue my life path ~ that what would come ahead be filled with Effortless Grace.  Things would just unfold in beauty and perfect ease.  I’ve worked hard to face myself and the dreaded Gucci bag of crap as I had to dig deep, figure out my own work flow and not get totally overwhelmed in the process.  I was making good headway – and then the phone rang.  This was not Effortless Grace.  I was going to need to call upon a fierce kind of faith to walk through this fire.

Drowning in grief and numbness I shut down.  And then I’d hear the words, “I’m here.  You can still talk to me.  You can still feel me.. keep walking, you have a lot to do girl..” The voice was hers, my best friend.  Just when I’d be sure I would collapse and never get up again, I felt a wave ~ a burst of energy that radiated from the very center of my belly.  Life fire.  The fire to move on.

As the last couple of weeks have passed, incredibly beautiful things have happened.  Miracles if you will, except that I don’t call them “miracles”.  Miracles are simply the Universe opening up and making things happen.  Nothing mysterious or magical about it.  Nothing unexplainable.  The Universe does it every single day.  But to watch it happen, changed me.  It took my intellectual belief in the power of the Universe and made it real.  I could see it.  I could touch it.  I could taste it.  And I wasn’t the only one.  I watched people around me without a solid spiritual base to rely upon begin to open.  To see for themselves.  It was a gift without measure to bear witness to their opening.  Another gift that came as a result of the tragedy that caused it.  Perhaps it was Effortless Grace after all?

I think so.  Without grace, I wouldn’t be writing this.  I’d still be in a dark closet praying that my cell phone wouldn’t have ever rung.  I’d still be stuck in the belief that I was just having a nightmare and it was time to wake up.  As the miracles happened, I began to feel my heart open again.  I felt connected to a deeper truth of how things really are and with that knowing came peace.  A peace so profound that my grief and numbness turned into healing light.

I’m still not “ready” to let her go.  My best friend and I had agreed to take a part of my unfolding journey together.  Its just going to happen differently now.  So I’m ready… to stand in the center of my newly found knowing and fly on as the Gucci bag of my crap just got a whole lot lighter.

Its not how I expected it to be.. but it is what I intended.  Learning my lessons with Effortless Grace, I’m moving on…. I just started writing the next book in the Radical Faith and Effortless Grace series… called Soul Sisters… about the power of friendship.  I hope you’ll join me in sharing the journey when its released.

Until then,

With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace,

Julie Jacobs, author

“With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace… The Journey to Heart Space” available now at Amazon

www.radicalfaith-effortlessgrace.com

Ahhh… Effortless Grace.  Thanks for showing up and speaking a little louder this time.  And then something happened.  I felt myself open up ~ this whole new space inside my chest seemed to radiate in waves all around me and I felt connected.  My mind stopped whirling, and my body stopped aching.  Hummhh…. so this is what LOVE feels like.  Open, expanding, trusting – connected.  The realization changed the course of my day.  I slept peacefully and woke to Valentines Day.

I would love to say it all worked out like a Hallmark Friday night movie but alas… well, maybe it did but we haven’t gotten to that part of the story yet.  Before that I was faced with… A step?  A Wall?

In every journey we’re faced with those life obstacles that seems to scream ~ “Go back to bed and just stay asleep until its all over”.  Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way.  Each obstacle ~ because LIFE is full of them when you’re actively trying to LIVE ~ sometimes just show up.  Not much you can do about them.  And that is the point.

After taking a huge Leap of Faith to actively and passionately go after my dreams and life purpose by quitting my stable, well paying job, ~ my truck led me down a huge “Life happens” and begged me to stay present enough to figure out if it was a step or a wall.

When the young guy at the car repair says, “Well, you need a new engine ~ and that’s about 6000.000″ Trust me, any higher consciousness thoughts of “Great.. what’s the life lesson” departed swiftly from any rational thoughts I was trying to have.  I freaked out.

Step??  To what exactly?

Wall?  Felt like I was traversing the Great Wall.

Do I have an extra 6000.00 sitting around?  Not at the moment.  Do I need my truck?  Yes, absolutely.

The Wall was getting taller and wider by the moment.

And then, my teenage son wrapped his arms around me and said, “Mom, everything will be just fine ~ you can cry if you need to…”  So I allowed myself to stay there for just a moment, sniffling into his ever broadening shoulders and filled myself with the love he was offering ~ the only way he knew how.

He was right you know.  It took me awhile to figure it out, but he was absolutely right.  Everything will be totally and completely, 100% ok.  Why?  Because in this grand adventure to figure out whether I was facing a step towards greater learning, love and understanding or facing a wall of insurmountable odds I realized, its not about what LIFE hands us.  Its in how we Trust completely what we know to be true when its the most difficult time to trust.

I know that I have absolutely everything I need.

I know that I Trust the Universe to work this out.  Do I need to know how?  Nope.  That’s called Trust.

I know that in those most difficult of moments, pure LOVE can change everything.  Today, that was in the arms of my teenage son.

This situation is a Step… and I choose to walk over it gracefully and fully trusting in the process…

A new twist on Valentines for me today… not covered in chocolate and roses.. but the beauty in trusting myself (or better yet being reminded to do so by my child) is more rich and fulfilling than the most elaborate bouquet… and its beauty will live in where it belongs – radiating from the center of my heart…

Until the next life lesson shows up…

Julie Jacobs, author “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace… The Journey to Heart Space” – available now on www.amazon.com

www.radialfaith-effortlessgrace.com

And then what?

The beginning of January brought very clear knowing to my heart.  It was time to move on from the “security” of full time working for another.  It was time to give up the paycheck by doing the work of another and trust that I could do it all on my own. It was time to dedicated myself 100% to my soul purpose.

Good thing I have wings.  Of course, I didn’t know that for sure when I jumped.  I just trusted the clear signposts along the way.  I knew that if I just trusted myself and the process that what appeared to be a bottomless pit of uncertainty would turn into effortless flight.

Am I flying?  You betcha.  But not without the turbulence that comes with testing out your wings for the first time.  I’ve banked pretty steeply, coming close to the edges of the cliff ~ like when I found myself laying in the middle of my living room floor.  I thought I was meditating – or exercising or some hybrid in between but then I realized I wasn’t inclined to get up.  Nope, I just laid there, and laid there and…. surrendered.

At first I could hear my Wicked Ego Witch howling.. “Get up.. get up.. you’re lazy and unproductive and oh my gosh, they make Prozac for this… quick, call the doctor.  You’re not DOING ANYTHING..”  I started to believe her.  I could feel the panic well up inside my chest, and then begin to trickle upward to my throat.  I could feel the bile of fear… “Prozac?”

And then I heard Effortless Grace say, “SURRENDER”  And Radical Faith stepped up beside her and said, “My friend, your journey to this point has been un-ceasing.  Its time to rest and trust that in doing nothing, you are stoking the fire for what comes ahead ~ can you trust?”

Prozac my ass.  Got it.  Surrender.  That’s a new one.

It took me a bit to choke back the bile of fear and relax into that space of nothing-ness.  What an odd feeling that was.  I’m so used to DOING that I have no concept of BEiNG. ~ Even on the floor.

So I finally got up.  And when I did I felt a sense of peace and calm for the journey ahead.  A journey of huge things that cause me to shudder in both excited anticipation and the fear of the unknown.  But then I hear the voice of Effortless Grace again… “You do know ~ its time to begin.”

What is I know right now is that my world is opening up in ways that I could never have imagined.  I’m hosting a weekly live radio show on www.believeinthemoment.com (click radio pages – TGIF to catch an archived show) and I’m loving every minute of it.  That is leading to meeting new soul friends with whom I’ll be sharing the journey of what is coming ahead.  I’m building an organization called, “Indigo Moon International, Inc.” ~ IaM and in the days ahead I’ll write more about who and what IaM is all about.  My first book, With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace.. the Journey to Heartspace” is making waves and I’m hearing from people all over the world how the story moved them deeply and changed their views of themselves.  (that’s why I wrote it in the first place)  The stirrings of the second book, “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace.. The Leap of Faith” is being written in my head… (and you’ll be able to catch sneek peeks by following this blog)

And my journey of relationship continues with my children and my animals.  My horse partners Dixie and Legacy are teaching me lessons I couldn’t learn anywhere else.  My soul sister Dixie, had a stroke last year and is beginning to make her transition from this lifetime to the next.  I’m learning about letting go in a whole new way.  I’ll write more about Dixie and her graceful transition in the blogs to come.  And Legacy, the baby ~ is teaching me about stepping in and claiming my space of relationship.  We’re learning about boundaries, building a partnership and honoring each other from a place of love, trust and ~ in his case, great humor and lightness of being…

I invite you to stay tuned… as the Leap of Faith continues.

Loving every minute,  yes~ even from the floor…

Julie Jacobs,

Author ~ “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace.. The Journey to Heart space” available now at amazon.com

I’ve learned to trust the process and say yes to what show’s up in my life. One of the most exciting things is my gratitude and honor to be the new host of “TGIF on Believe in the Moment Radio” – this is currently home on the Blogtalk radio pages so please search for archieved shows now if you’re interested – on the Believe in the Moment Radio section of Blogtalk. I am really enjoying the push to learn new skills and to stretch and expand how I am taking my message to the world. In today’s show ~ I was joined by my soul sisters, Michelle Watson Jones and Kelley King who are featured in my book, “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace.. The Journey to Heartspace” – (available now on Amazon.com) – They show up in the Grace Notes chapter as the power of friendship helps each of us to learn and grow through the experiences that were happening at that time. – I invite you to listen to the show, and to think about what authentic spiritual friendship really means and how it can support you in your life. That’s why were all here. To learn, to grow, to mentor and to teach.. its the cycle of humanity.

Tune in every week on Friday’s at 10am PST – Believe in the Moment Radio – Blogtalk.com to take the journey of heart space with me..

In other exciting news… I am putting together the pieces for a new charitable foundation called, “Indigo Moon International, Inc. ~ “Where all things are possible…” This foundation will support the evolving work of building bridges for healing, growth and learning between humans, humanity and the world we call home. There are many pieces to this foundation – the primary being to create a sacred home space where this work can be shared with the World. It will be a world stage for healers, teachers and guides – some human, some animal to come together to support each other. There will be much more to come, I hope I’ve peaked your curiosity ~ and you’ll stay tuned as the details unfold.

Until then,
May Faith and Grace inspire you to embrace your own potential

Julie Jacobs
Author, “With Radical Faith and Effortless Grace… The Journey to Heart Space”